FEAR OF FAILURE

Fear of Failure, what an intense subject. Some may not agree as they accept fear and failure as a fact of life. BUZZER!! Many people don’t realize that it is fear of failure that is holding us back from moving forward in our lives or even achieving success.

So what is fear? The dictionary defines fear as “A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain etc., whether the threat is real or imagined “. FEAR is an acronym for False Experiences Appearing Real. So truly what is fear? Many say fear is a good thing, it makes us humble. While I agree that fear is a good thing when you’re looking off a cliff and thinking about jumping off it’s not fear that’s going to change your mind, its choice. Fear in itself is a scary thing. It ages you, it makes you sick and it prevents you from excelling in your life. As a child, did fear enter into your thoughts? I can’t believe that it did as you would have never walked, swam or left home for that matter. How did that word fear enter into our lives? Do you remember phrases like be careful with that pencil or you’ll poke your eye out? I remember being told by my mother not to go play in the park because the other kids would steal my basketball or don’t play with matches you’ll burn yourself. Wow! So that’s where I got fear from! So it’s not something we inherit, its not something that’s instinctive. ITS SOMETHING WE LEARN FROM OUR PARENTS AND PEOPLE AROUND US! So here come the limiting beliefs, the belief that we cannot succeed, the belief that we don’t deserve better. Amazing that such a word, a four letter word at that can have such an impact on our lives. Remember the now famous quote from Winston Churchill,” We have nothing to fear but FEAR itself.”

So on to failure. It has more letters in it than fear but holds as much of an impact on our lives as fear. The dictionary defines failure as “the condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends”. So really what is failure? Let me throw something else at you. What is a mistake? What’s really the difference? Isn’t failure really just an event in our life, a mistake? Isn’t it really just a learning experience or event in our life? As a baby when we took our first steps did our parents chastise us because we fell or did they encourage us to keep trying? So what’s the difference when we grow older? Why are we chastised for failure rather than praised for the attempt whether we “failed or succeeded”? More often than not you will hear in society that we spend more time chastising people for their mistakes rather than congratulating them for their successes. Why? Why do people thrive off the failure or pain of others? Is it so difficult to be happy for other people in their victories? Sure a lot of it relates to jealousy and envy but isn’t that just something that we have manufactured in our lives by creating the belief that we have to keep up with or surpass the Smiths without accepting the fact that WE have created the place we are in ourselves. There are so many stories in life of people who refuse to accept their lot in life and make the choice to ignore the judgments of other people. Look at Ford, Carnegie and in more recent times Bill Gates. If they had allowed the judgments of others to influence their lives where would we be now?

Well that’s enough about failure so now imagine these two words, fear and failure, together in the same sentence. Want to talk about judgment, fear of failure is the most devastating judgment that we place on ourselves. Fear of failure is the reason so many people remain stagnant in their lives. So what’s the big deal? Isn’t it all about choice? We all have the choice in life to allow the fear of failure created by the limiting beliefs and judgments of others to determine the path we choose to follow. Rather than being envious or jealous of others doesn’t it make sense to burn the boats and move forward for our own success, or should we remain complacent and dwell in the place of being satisfied with what we have rather than creating that which we deserve.

Success or Failure the choice is yours.