Lately I have had the opportunity, because I have chosen to live my life full out, to take some incredible trips and create some experiences that I could not ever have imagined doing in my life. As I share these experiences with my colleagues and friends there are some constant refrains that I hear;
“I wish I could do that. I wish I had the time to do that. I wish I had the money to do that.”
I realize that those were thoughts I was having years ago under similar circumstances. So why the change, why is it that I have chosen not to allow these thoughts to enter into my conscious or subconscious thoughts?
There are many books out there in this world which talk about how to succeed in life and how to attract abundance to your self or even how to attract the lifestyle you desire and deserve. One book “King Solomon, The Richest Man in the World” tells us that King Solomon was granted one wish by God. He was allowed to choose anything he wanted. Solomon after some thought asked God for Wisdom and nothing more. Because he made such a modest request and did not ask for abundance God gave him not only the wisdom he requested but also incredible wealth. It was the wisdom that God gave him which allowed him to not only keep and increase his wealth, but to also share this knowledge through the book of proverbs allowing others to learn the secrets of attracting abundance. Then there is Napoleon Hill’s book, “Think and Grow Rich” which has become the bible for many millionaires, “The science of getting rich” and of course “The Secret”.
One of the reasons that I have chosen to remove the thoughts of lack from my consciousness is that all of these books basically say the same thing. If you live the life that you KNOW you deserve and you live your life with integrity, consideration for others, and gratitude you will get everything back many times over. The other reason as I thought about it was WHY should I be living my life for other people. Working my tail off for wages that were forcing me to work two sometimes three jobs in order to survive while others are making a fortune off my sweat. Even more so why should I live hand to mouth and deprive myself of the life I deserve? What does it get me? We are all familiar with the expression “No pain no gain!” Don’t we experience pain from regret then why shouldn’t we at least benefit from the pain rather than wallow in it and gain nothing.
Coming from a place of lack will only get you lack. Coming from a place of commitment and conviction in the belief that you deserve better, and living that life will only bring you what you desire. The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews reviews the seven decisions that we can make in life which will lead us to achieve anything we desire.
Its funny how we always say have a great day to each other. Does this get delivered to you does someone hand it to you? Nope what we should be saying to each other is MAKE IT A GREAT DAY! We are the only ones who can make or break our day.
MAKE IT A GREAT DAY YOU DESERVE IT.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
FEAR OF FAILURE
Fear of Failure, what an intense subject. Some may not agree as they accept fear and failure as a fact of life. BUZZER!! Many people don’t realize that it is fear of failure that is holding us back from moving forward in our lives or even achieving success.
So what is fear? The dictionary defines fear as “A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain etc., whether the threat is real or imagined “. FEAR is an acronym for False Experiences Appearing Real. So truly what is fear? Many say fear is a good thing, it makes us humble. While I agree that fear is a good thing when you’re looking off a cliff and thinking about jumping off it’s not fear that’s going to change your mind, its choice. Fear in itself is a scary thing. It ages you, it makes you sick and it prevents you from excelling in your life. As a child, did fear enter into your thoughts? I can’t believe that it did as you would have never walked, swam or left home for that matter. How did that word fear enter into our lives? Do you remember phrases like be careful with that pencil or you’ll poke your eye out? I remember being told by my mother not to go play in the park because the other kids would steal my basketball or don’t play with matches you’ll burn yourself. Wow! So that’s where I got fear from! So it’s not something we inherit, its not something that’s instinctive. ITS SOMETHING WE LEARN FROM OUR PARENTS AND PEOPLE AROUND US! So here come the limiting beliefs, the belief that we cannot succeed, the belief that we don’t deserve better. Amazing that such a word, a four letter word at that can have such an impact on our lives. Remember the now famous quote from Winston Churchill,” We have nothing to fear but FEAR itself.”
So on to failure. It has more letters in it than fear but holds as much of an impact on our lives as fear. The dictionary defines failure as “the condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends”. So really what is failure? Let me throw something else at you. What is a mistake? What’s really the difference? Isn’t failure really just an event in our life, a mistake? Isn’t it really just a learning experience or event in our life? As a baby when we took our first steps did our parents chastise us because we fell or did they encourage us to keep trying? So what’s the difference when we grow older? Why are we chastised for failure rather than praised for the attempt whether we “failed or succeeded”? More often than not you will hear in society that we spend more time chastising people for their mistakes rather than congratulating them for their successes. Why? Why do people thrive off the failure or pain of others? Is it so difficult to be happy for other people in their victories? Sure a lot of it relates to jealousy and envy but isn’t that just something that we have manufactured in our lives by creating the belief that we have to keep up with or surpass the Smiths without accepting the fact that WE have created the place we are in ourselves. There are so many stories in life of people who refuse to accept their lot in life and make the choice to ignore the judgments of other people. Look at Ford, Carnegie and in more recent times Bill Gates. If they had allowed the judgments of others to influence their lives where would we be now?
Well that’s enough about failure so now imagine these two words, fear and failure, together in the same sentence. Want to talk about judgment, fear of failure is the most devastating judgment that we place on ourselves. Fear of failure is the reason so many people remain stagnant in their lives. So what’s the big deal? Isn’t it all about choice? We all have the choice in life to allow the fear of failure created by the limiting beliefs and judgments of others to determine the path we choose to follow. Rather than being envious or jealous of others doesn’t it make sense to burn the boats and move forward for our own success, or should we remain complacent and dwell in the place of being satisfied with what we have rather than creating that which we deserve.
Success or Failure the choice is yours.
So what is fear? The dictionary defines fear as “A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain etc., whether the threat is real or imagined “. FEAR is an acronym for False Experiences Appearing Real. So truly what is fear? Many say fear is a good thing, it makes us humble. While I agree that fear is a good thing when you’re looking off a cliff and thinking about jumping off it’s not fear that’s going to change your mind, its choice. Fear in itself is a scary thing. It ages you, it makes you sick and it prevents you from excelling in your life. As a child, did fear enter into your thoughts? I can’t believe that it did as you would have never walked, swam or left home for that matter. How did that word fear enter into our lives? Do you remember phrases like be careful with that pencil or you’ll poke your eye out? I remember being told by my mother not to go play in the park because the other kids would steal my basketball or don’t play with matches you’ll burn yourself. Wow! So that’s where I got fear from! So it’s not something we inherit, its not something that’s instinctive. ITS SOMETHING WE LEARN FROM OUR PARENTS AND PEOPLE AROUND US! So here come the limiting beliefs, the belief that we cannot succeed, the belief that we don’t deserve better. Amazing that such a word, a four letter word at that can have such an impact on our lives. Remember the now famous quote from Winston Churchill,” We have nothing to fear but FEAR itself.”
So on to failure. It has more letters in it than fear but holds as much of an impact on our lives as fear. The dictionary defines failure as “the condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends”. So really what is failure? Let me throw something else at you. What is a mistake? What’s really the difference? Isn’t failure really just an event in our life, a mistake? Isn’t it really just a learning experience or event in our life? As a baby when we took our first steps did our parents chastise us because we fell or did they encourage us to keep trying? So what’s the difference when we grow older? Why are we chastised for failure rather than praised for the attempt whether we “failed or succeeded”? More often than not you will hear in society that we spend more time chastising people for their mistakes rather than congratulating them for their successes. Why? Why do people thrive off the failure or pain of others? Is it so difficult to be happy for other people in their victories? Sure a lot of it relates to jealousy and envy but isn’t that just something that we have manufactured in our lives by creating the belief that we have to keep up with or surpass the Smiths without accepting the fact that WE have created the place we are in ourselves. There are so many stories in life of people who refuse to accept their lot in life and make the choice to ignore the judgments of other people. Look at Ford, Carnegie and in more recent times Bill Gates. If they had allowed the judgments of others to influence their lives where would we be now?
Well that’s enough about failure so now imagine these two words, fear and failure, together in the same sentence. Want to talk about judgment, fear of failure is the most devastating judgment that we place on ourselves. Fear of failure is the reason so many people remain stagnant in their lives. So what’s the big deal? Isn’t it all about choice? We all have the choice in life to allow the fear of failure created by the limiting beliefs and judgments of others to determine the path we choose to follow. Rather than being envious or jealous of others doesn’t it make sense to burn the boats and move forward for our own success, or should we remain complacent and dwell in the place of being satisfied with what we have rather than creating that which we deserve.
Success or Failure the choice is yours.
Monday, October 6, 2008
LETTING GO
The other day I had a dream. I was preparing to do a tandem parachute jump. I was at the door poised to leap. As I jumped from the plane I suddenly realized that my instructor was not with me, but this was ok since I could feel that the parachute was on my back. I wasn’t frightened. As I drifted down I also recognized that I did not have an altimeter but this also did not frighten me. As I looked down at the others below me, I said to myself there was no need to worry about when I should open my chute as I could see where the others were opening theirs. It was all cool and I just enjoyed the free fall. When I reached the level where the others had opened their chute I reached back to pull what I believed to be the rip cord and all I pulled out were the strings that held the chute to my pack. Still without panic and finding my dilemma interesting I reached for the cord on my other side and when that was pulled I ended up with a handful of sheet. For whatever reason there was still no panic. I pondered the situation as I watched the ground get closer and closer. Struck with a brilliant thought, I rapidly started pulling out the sheet hoping that I could deploy the parachute before crashing to the ground. As I saw the chute deploy, I found myself having landed on the ground. What struck me was the ease of the landing in spite of the chute not opening. I went to greet my wife as she landed and pointed out to her that my descent was a lot faster than hers because the chute did not open and told her how easy it had been.
What was the lesson that I learned from this dream? It’s ok to let go. If you read Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich there is the episode where the Cortez when he is invading the yucatan tells his troops to burn their ships after they had landed, as an invading force on the enemy’s beaches. When questioned by the troops about the fact that this will leave them no possibility for retreat, the captain response was that this leaves no option but to move forward as retreating is not an option. This dream to me basically says the same thing it is ok to let go because things will work out as long as you go forward with commitment and without fear.
A leap of faith is just that – a leap from what you know and trust in to the unknown.
What was the lesson that I learned from this dream? It’s ok to let go. If you read Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich there is the episode where the Cortez when he is invading the yucatan tells his troops to burn their ships after they had landed, as an invading force on the enemy’s beaches. When questioned by the troops about the fact that this will leave them no possibility for retreat, the captain response was that this leaves no option but to move forward as retreating is not an option. This dream to me basically says the same thing it is ok to let go because things will work out as long as you go forward with commitment and without fear.
A leap of faith is just that – a leap from what you know and trust in to the unknown.
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